Not a Pinterest Mom

Ok, so I know a lot of us know what a “Pinterest Mom” is, but for those of you out there who don’t know, a “Pinterest Mom” is that mom that seems to have all her stuff together. The kids and parents are always in matching color-coordinated outfits, birthday parties are straight out of a magazine, and each holiday is an opportunity to Martha-Stewart the shit out of everything. I am NOT that mom. I am the hot mess mom. I am lucky if I show up wearing matching clothes and I am NEVER on time for ANYTHING. My hair is always up in a ponytail or a top knot and it’s not a cute one. My daughter frequently doesn’t match either, mostly because I am not going to fight a toddler over clothing choices, I have bigger fish to fry. Why yes, Ms. R, my child is wearing jelly sandals with socks on when it’s 50 degrees outside. Why, you ask? Because I told her she needed to wear socks and shoes and she would not consider any other options, despite being told the jellies are not weather appropriate. Seriously, has anyone tried to get a very determined toddler to wear something they don’t want to wear?! I swear, if my current career doesn’t work out, I believe I could have a good future as an alligator wrestler.

The point of all this is, we all have at least one mom in our mom-group that is that Pinterest Mom. The one who always seems to make the perfect organic, gluten-free, non-GMO bake sale treat that tastes better than anything store bought with all the yummy chemicals. In my case, I have two, and I love them very dearly! My first friend, Erin, is an AMAZING mommy of 2 little boys. She works part-time, has her own side-hustle business, and manages to make it all look so effortless. (Seriously, if you ever get the chance, please check out her blog: Fit Family Life Blog , she’s always posting yummy recipes!). She really is almost Pinterest perfect, even if she doesn’t think so. The second “Pinterest Mom” is my friend Chelsi. She is a WONDER WOMAN! I have no idea how she manages to make everything look so perfect. She is mommy to a 5 year-old boy and a set of 2 year-old twin girls. The girls are always matching each other perfectly, even down to their hair bows. Any party or event Chelsi puts together is always so creative and she manages to make the PERFECT Valentines for the other children in her kids’ daycare.

It could be so easy for me to look at these two mamas and turn to jealousy. And, I will be honest, sometimes I do marvel at how they manage to do what I feel I cannot. Also, how amazing that they are so picture-ready all the time with two/three kids and I’m a mess with only one! I know they will probably smack me for this, but it’s true! However, even though I could turn to jealousy, instead I turn in to my support network. These ladies have become my family since moving to Virginia and having my daughter. I know that these sweet, wonderful, caring, and loving women would be there for me and my family at the drop of a hat.

It seems so daunting when faced with the expectations of mothers nowadays. We’re expected to be the perfect wife, have the perfectly clean home, have a perfect body, bounce back after every baby, and have the perfectly dressed kids who behave perfectly. We are expected to throw picture-perfect birthday parties for our children with everything made from scratch. Some moms are amazingly talented with these things, but I am NOT one of those moms. Now don’t get me wrong, I can bake one hell of a cupcake and make it look all cutesy, but that’s about it.

I think the main thing I have learned in these short 2.5 (almost 3) years is that I’m okay with not being the Pinterest mom. Some days, it’s good enough that I just kept the kid alive. I know Erin and Chelsi have both said the same thing to me on their rough days. Some days it’s all we can do to get a shower. So mamas, Pinterest and Non-Pinterest, lets work on forgiving ourselves for our imperfections and celebrating our strengths. Let’s let go of these expectations that everything should be picture-perfect and out of a magazine. Let’s laugh at our Pinterest fails and rejoice in our successes, because each mama is different. We all have our own strengths and our own weaknesses. Instead of judging the mama who is struggling, reach out a hand and help. We are a village and we need to raise each other, not just our children.

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I'm an LCSW and a Mom of a "big girl" toddler.

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